How Do Grown Ups Make Friends?

I saw my brother at the weekend, he moved to London a few months ago and while he is enjoying it, he said that he feels like he does not have that many friends in London. While I stayed in my university city and know a few people who are still about, sometimes I feel the same.  I don’t have many friends that I see regularly where I live.  

It is difficult to build up a group of friends when you leave education. Where do you find them?  I have managed to find two potential friends in the past couple of months. One from my Zumba class and one from a fun drunken conversation at a house party which neither of us can really remember, but enjoyed enough to add each other on Facebook and meet up for drinks a few days later.

Since finishing university this is the most new action my social life has seen.  I had not really realised it, but while I have been pretty good at keeping in touch with my existing friends that have gone and moved to various corners of the country, I have not been very good at making new friends.  

I want to make new friends, but I am a shy person. I don’t invite people I barely know to go out for coffee! I think that is the kind of thing I have to do though, notice when I enjoy somebody’s company and say let’s see if we could be friends.  

When you don’t have the routine of education making you see someone everyday, making friends seems to involve a lot more putting yourself out there.  Asking if you can add someone on Facebook so you can see each other again, or texting someone and seeing if they want to meet up.

It feels like platonic dating or something. Like romantic dating, but less over analysing everything and not quite so many feelings at stake. Sounds a bit less stressful to be honest.  I am still not really sure where I’ll find these people to try and make my friends, but I am glad I’ve had this wake up call to be a bit more proactive about noticing when I get on with someone and doing something about it.

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7 thoughts on “How Do Grown Ups Make Friends?”

  1. I have been volunteering this year, and I feel like I should’ve at least gotten the other volunteer’s numbers or email address or something. Maybe I’ll see them again one day. In the meantime, I should probably find two pairs of phone numbers and email addresses which I did get, and actually contact these people. I’m not very good at being Pro-active. I’m probably the worst in my family. Ha ha.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I was thinking that something like volunteering would be a good way to meet people. I know what you mean, I would have to MAKE myself ask for people’s contact details, then get the courage to contact them! It can be easy to forget to be proactive.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Volunteering takes you to a place you’ve never been before, to do things you wouldn’t expect capable and meet people who you normally wouldn’t talk to due to age, social and demographical differences.

        Liked by 1 person

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